Author: mfordfeeney

Zombieland (2009)

#140RVW

I don’t get the whole zombie thing, but this movie is so damn funny that it overcame all that. Single-handedly justifies Harrelson’s career.

What’s more:

The obsession with zombies completely eludes me. I can’t think of a monster movie concept that I have less interest in. I grew up on local channel 38’s Creature Double Feature on weekends. I like my monster movies plenty, although I’m admittedly old school; I prefer that Lugosi or Lon Chaney be in most of them. But I can go in for vampires if done well, and I love the Alien series. Dinosaurs? Love dinosaurs. Frankenstein monsters of any type. I’ll even stop for a giant octopus or two-headed shark if I’m just after fun.

But my science teacher father, who loves all of these, raised me right and taught me to look for the underlying logic behind the admittedly ridiculous and fantastic. These things didn’t have to be brilliant, but there had to be some sense behind the fantastic. And zombies are bad science. There is so circumstance in which the logical outcome of an infection would lead to eating brains. I can’t get past it.

But the opening sequence of Zombieland is a grabber. Instantly sets the pitch-perfect dark comedic tone for the movie. I caught the first minute while flipping one night and never looked back. This is a star-making role for Eisenberg, and his quirky character and his rules give the movie a great, funny start. Once you get to Harrelson’s Tallahassee you’ve got enough fun to run all night, but don’t forget how important those opening minutes are.

Because the movie is so funny it gets a lot more leeway in the blood and gore department than I usually have stomach for. Don’t be misled: this is a gory, brutal, violent movie. It just doesn’t feel like one. Just stick it out, faint-hearted, time to “nut up or shut up”.

Poster:

Trailer:

Bechdel Test:

Pass

Main Cast	Jesse Eisenberg Columbus, Emma Stone Wichita, Woody Harrelson Tallahassee, Abigail Breslin Little Rock
Rating	TV-14
Release Date	Fri 02 Oct 2009 UTC
Director	Ruben Fleischer
Genres	Comedy, Horror
Plot	A shy student trying to reach his family in Ohio, and a gun-toting tough guy trying to find the Last Twinkie and a pair of sisters trying to get to an amusement park join forces to travel across a zombie-filled America.
Poster
Runtime	88
Tagline	Our land is their land.
Writers	Rhett Reese (written by) &, Paul Wernick (written by)
Year	2009

January 24, 2014

Meet Joe Black (1998)

#140RVW

Slow, deliberate pace works; until it doesn’t. Redefines overlong. Pitt great when they let some menace show. Could’ve been something more.

What’s more:

Before you start getting fresh, remember – this is Martin Brest; he directed Beverly Hills Cop, Midnight Run & Scent of a Woman. Then he did this; then he did Gigli. Hmm. I forget my point…

Oh, right. The thing is that there’s a really good movie in here. Two movies, actually (and that’s not a crack about the insufferable run-time). Originally an Italian play, it was first made as the film “Death Takes A Holiday” in 1934. I tried it once and it didn’t grab me – I’ll give it another shot at some point.

You see, I simply love the concept; Death takes an interest in people. You can’t get more high-concept than that. You can run with it for days. There is almost limited potential for humor and perspective. My favorite author is Terry Pratchett, and Death is one of the most fascinating recurring characters in his Discworld series.

In this telling, Death shows up for an extended stay in the world in the body of Brad Pitt. And Pitt does a good job of it; he’s got a nice quirky humor that he isn’t frequently called on to display. And he has a few moments where he displays some of the genuine threat underlying that mortal coil. But there’s not enough of it. This Death is weary and looking for meaning and connection. But he’s toothless, and that just feels off. Yes, go for the laughs, go for the romance, but burying an ultimate power in a borrowed body, no matter how hunky, is not going to hide that supreme force and I think there was a missed opportunity to show Death as more prideful and menacing.

The real killer, though, is the length of this movie. Three hour movies should be the exclusive province of war pictures and the occasional biopic, and even then you better earn it. What’s amazing is when you think back on where exactly those 3 hours went, it’s hard to recall. I can name maybe a dozen distinct scenes in maybe 10 locations. Mostly there are just very slow, very long dialogue-heavy scenes of two varieties – plain speak and “no one talks like this”.

Now I understand where they went wrong with this movie. In the most innocent way possible; they just started with a simple plan (“let’s really let this story breathe, let the scenes find their pace”) and never looked back. And I can see the appeal; the scenes do breathe; there is a nice feel to things as they are introducing the principals. It’s not a race, it’s like a nice walk – let’s enjoy this. You’re feeling good. And then you look up and realize that it’s getting dark and you’re not only nowhere near home – you’ve barely started.

And it really is too bad. Because there are some great moments and acting, the music is beautiful, it looks good. It’s just too damn long. And slow, did I say slow? It’s slow.

Poster:

Trailer:

Bechdel Test:

Pass

Main Cast	Brad Pitt Joe Black/Young Man in Coffee Shop, Anthony Hopkins William Parrish, Claire Forlani Susan Parrish, Jake Weber Drew
Rating	PG-13
Release Date	Fri 13 Nov 1998 UTC
Director	Martin Brest
Genres	Drama, Fantasy, Mystery, Romance
Plot	A media mogul acts as a guide to Death, who takes the form of a young man to learn about life on Earth and in the process, fall in love with his guide’s daughter.
Poster
Runtime	178
Tagline	He’s Expecting You.
Writers	Ron Osborn (screenplay) &, Jeff Reno (screenplay) …
Year	1998

January 23, 2014

The Tale of Despereaux (2008)

#140RVW

Very good-looking animated film. Somewhat overstocked in the celebrity voice department, but not to ruin. Good if not overly original story.

What’s more:

There’s a sort of embarrassment of riches in the animated movie world, and that makes it hard to stand out. Even when the movies are well-made, even if they’re based on great source material, there tends to be a remarkable sameness to many of them.

Take Desperaux; comes with a built-in audience of readers of author Kate DiCamillo’s Newbery Medal winning book, not to mention people who like cute mice. Toss in a dozen or more celebrity voices and what do you get? Sorta the same movie you’ve seen a few times by now.

Is this a bad thing? Maybe not. There will always be more children so there should always be more children’s movies. They can’t all be groundbreaking.

The worst thing is that I enjoyed watching this. I felt good after watching it. But the more I reflected on it, the less that stayed with me. Even while watching it the feelings of familiarity were creeping in, but the movie is well-made and I let it pass.

Maybe I’m being harder on it in the light of day than I was immediately after watching it. I’ve just sort of had it with the same old animation and the same celebrity voice-overs. Even as this film shows some unique and lovely design features, they manage to make the characters look like those in virtually every other film. Look at the cook; he could have walked out of 10 other movies this year.

You have a great story – try a little harder.

Poster:

Trailer:

Bechdel Test:

Pass, barely.

Main Cast	Matthew Broderick Despereaux (voice), Emma Watson Princess Pea (voice), Dustin Hoffman Roscuro (voice), Tracey Ullman Miggery Sow (voice)
Rating	G
Release Date	Fri 19 Dec 2008 UTC
Director	Sam Fell, Robert Stevenhagen
Genres	Adventure, Animation, Comedy, Family, Fantasy
Plot	The tale of three unlikely heroes – a misfit mouse who prefers reading books to eating them, an unhappy rat who schemes to leave the darkness of the dungeon, and a bumbling servant girl with cauliflower ears – whose fates are intertwined with that of the castle’s princess.
Poster
Runtime	93
Tagline	Small Hero. Big Heart.
Writers	Gary Ross (writer), Will McRobb (screen story)
Year	2008

January 22, 2014

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

#140RVW

No so much bad as completely unnecessary. What more did we need to know about this character after he was featured prominently in 3 movies?

What’s more:

This movie fills in the gaps that were left after 3 X-Men movies that focused nearly exclusively on Wolverine. Wait, what gaps? It’s like when artists like Tom Petty & Bruce Springsteen feel compelled to record “solo” albums; guys, it’s your band, with your name – what, are you being held back?

So why was this movie necessary? Good question. Let me know if you figure it out; I never did. And that’s really the problem with the movie – it just isn’t really needed. We knew enough about this character; possibly too much. Filling in every gap doesn’t accomplish anything. It may seem to satisfy our need to know everything, but once we do know everything we realize we were probably better off with a little mystery.

Quick thoughts:

Liev Schreiber is quite a good villain.
Script does the nearly impossible feat of making Sabretooth an interesting character.
First sign of trouble: casting a rapper as an actor. Nearly always the wrong choice.
The blades have never looked less convincing; stick with practical effects, guys.

Boxing with Blob? Why? Easily the most wasteful five minutes in any Marvel film, ever.
Didn’t expect Cyclops to show up. Thought this was just going to be the B team mutants.
Sigh, wire work. Always so much wire work.
How many times in this movie do Wolverine & Sabretooth have essentially the same fight? Stand twenty feet apart, hold arms out to side and flex, Sabretooth grins, Wolverine yells, and they charge.
Some of these effects are really unacceptable for 2009.

Mutant rundown (SPOILERS):

Gambit – fights with playing cards and pool cues. Please…This character must have been created during Happy Hour…
Someone named Agent Zero. I still can’t figure out if this was supposed to be a mutant, and I’m tired of looking up things that should have been made obvious by the filmmakers.
There are mutants named Bolt, well played by the always entertaining Dominic Monaghan, and Kestral, played by the never entertaining will.i.am.
His love interest in the movie is a mutant? I admit I started to get bored around this point in the movie. I’m guessing her ability is to advance the plot.
Emma Frost looks really cool.
Deadpool – I gather that this character has a Boba Fett-type following, though I don’t see it based on the film, although they changed the character’s arc massively. They’re making a movie just for him. Sadly it will also star Ryan Reynolds.

Poster:

Trailer:

Bechdel Test:

Fail

Main Cast	Hugh Jackman Logan/Wolverine, Liev Schreiber Victor Creed, Ryan Reynolds Wade Wilson, Danny Huston Stryker
Rating	PG-13
Release Date	Fri 01 May 2009 UTC
Director	Gavin Hood
Genres	Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi, Thriller
Plot	A look at Wolverine’s early life, in particular his time with the government squad Weapon and the impact it will have on his later years.
Poster
Runtime	107
Tagline
Writers	David Benioff (screenplay) and, Skip Woods (screenplay)
Year	2009

January 21, 2014

Much Ado About Nothing (2012)

#140RVW

The Joss Whedon players invade his house for a few days and come away with a wonderful, funny, beautifully acted & executed masterpiece…

What’s more:

Whedon makes it look so easy. Follows up blockbuster Avengers with a black & white modern adaptation of Shakespeare comedy. And comedy it is; this movie is a riot.

Helps to have such an amazing cast, but then that has always been his MO. He’s cultivated this amazing team of alumni, plus some notable Whedon newbies like Clark Gregg. It’s always such a blast in any of his movies looking to see who he’s brought along this time.

Too many great performances to single out, but can we all agree that Amy Acker is overdue for superstardom? She is so amazingly expressive, capable of drama, brainy comedy, physical comedy and anything else needed. Let’s get her some more work, huh? Her leading man, Alexis Denisof is also criminally underused in Hollywood…

With such great performances, it’s easy to overlook just how well the movie is constructed, but it’s important to note. The arrangement of scenes, the pacing, and the tone all combine to make for a highly enjoyable film, one that could have easily been dragged down by the challenging text. And it looks excellent, thanks to DP Jay Hunter.

Poster:

Trailer:

Bechdel Test:

Tough, I’m going to say it fails, but I could see it both ways. There are conversations that are not specifically about a man, but every conversation between women is about love; frankly every conversation in the movie is about love.

Main Cast	Alexis Denisof Benedick, Amy Acker Beatrice, Fran Kranz Claudio, Jillian Morgese Hero
Rating	PG-13
Release Date	Fri 14 Jun 2013 UTC
Director	Joss Whedon
Genres	Comedy, Drama, Romance
Plot	A modern retelling of Shakespeare’s classic comedy about two pairs of lovers with different takes on romance and a way with words.
Poster
Runtime	109
Tagline	Shakespeare knows how to throw a party.
Writers	Joss Whedon (written for the screen by), William Shakespeare (play)
Year	2012

January 20, 2014