Movies

Princess Mononoke “Mononoke-hime” (1997)

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VERY different kind of movie from what I’m used to from Miyazaki-san. Really violent & often gross, it’s pitilessly long & kinda confusing.

私は宮崎さんから慣れたものから、映画の非常に異なる種類。本当に暴力＆しばしばグロス、それは本当に長いとちょっとわかりにくいです。

What’s more:

I had some trouble with this one. It is a very different look and feel to any of the Miyazaki films I’ve screened so far. A much-more action-oriented picture, it’s quite violent and at times it’s frankly gross. (The demonic infestation of people and animals with worm-like tendrils reminded me all too well of the explicit adult-oriented anime that I found seriously disturbing in high school and college.) I honestly sort of wished my daughter missed this one.

Not sure what I’m talking about? Let me lay the story on you:

Gorgeous Studio Ghibli landscapes of Japanese countryside are torn apart as a demon comes to destroy our hero’s village. The monster is a massive boar god that has been consumed by demonic, writhing black and purple tendrils that make the creature look like a disgusting, pulsing spider that burns away everything it touches. Prince Ashitaka saves his village by shooting the beast in each eye with arrows, whereupon it rots and decays nearly instantly, leaving a smoking skeleton. Sound good so far?

I forgot to mention that before killing the beast, the prince’s forearm was grabbed by the creature so he now has discolored scars that are spreading throughout his body as they kill him. He is given a terminal diagnosis, and advised to take his smelly arm west, for reasons that aren’t entirely clear but involve the possibility of a cure. Why they don’t simply amputate said diseased arm is never explored.

Because there is some sort of rule mandating the use of at least one truly ugly human being in all of his films, we are introduced to Jigo, a red-nosed monk voiced in the English version by a horribly miscast Billy Bob Thornton. I really can’t imagine a worse choice. He appears to be there for exposition only, but sadly he will return.

At this point we still haven’t met the titular Princess, but she does finally show up on the road to Iron Town, which is meant to invoke Western mining towns but feels more like something from Mad Max since it’s populated with whores and lepers.

I don’t plan on spoiling the whole story; suffice it to say that before we are done there will be decapitations, shootings, blood spitting, leprosy, god-killing, and worst of all, more Billy Bob Thornton.

You might think by my tone that the violence is my biggest criticism of Princess Mononoke – it’s not. The problem with the story is that the protagonist acts in maddeningly inconsistent ways; it’s never clear whose side he is on or what is his goal from moment to moment. He seems committed to both save AND destroy Minnie Driver’s Lady Eboshi, whose own actions are erratic. She wants to rule the world and fight samurai, whose presence and motives are never explained. But she also wants to kill the Forest Spirit – or is that what Jigo wants? No, it’s what the Emperor wants. Wait, who the hell is the Emperor? When did he get involved with this story?

I know this is the favorite Miyazaki movie for a lot of people and I really wanted to like it. I sure didn’t dislike it. I just really couldn’t get past the muddled story or how long it took for all of these things to happen. There are some truly breathtaking scenes and the action is amazing. With some work this could be the best in its genre.

And maybe this is all just lost in translation. Maybe there are cultural themes here that the story is relying on that I am just missing. But that’s not my problem – you need to make sure it plays to all audiences or why are you releasing it here? Maybe it’s the fault of Miramax, who acquired it. Without an ambassador like John Lasseter maybe it wasn’t handled properly. It’s still worth watching.

Princess Mononoke — Oh, and I like the little Kodama!

Poster:

Trailer:

Bechdel Test:

Pass

The Representation Test Score: B (9 pts)

(http://therepresentationproject.org/grading-hollywood-the-representation-test/)

Main Cast	Yôji Matsuda Ashitaka (voice), Yuriko Ishida San/Mononoke-Hime (voice), Yûko Tanaka Eboshi-gozen (voice), Billy Crudup Ashitaka (voice: English version)
Rating	PG-13
Release Date	Sat 12 Jul 1997 UTC
Director	Hayao Miyazaki
Genres	Animation, Adventure, Fantasy
Plot	On a journey to find the cure for a Tatarigami’s curse, Ashitaka finds himself in the middle of a war between the forest gods and Tatara, a mining colony. In this quest he also meets San, the Mononoke Hime.
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Runtime	134
Tagline	The Fate Of The World Rests On The Courage Of One Warrior.
Writers	Hayao Miyazaki (written by)
Year	1997

Muppets Most Wanted (2014)

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Equaling the heights of the reboot was never going to happen, so put that out of your mind and enjoy it for what it is: solid & funny film.

What’s more:

I grew up on the Muppets; I love the Muppets. Their descent into cultural irrelevance was unfortunate, and I was thrilled when the film series was rebooted a few years ago with 2011’s creatively titled, The Muppets. The movie was a modest success and a sequel was inevitable as the franchise had a chance to start up anew.

Most of the creative team is back for Muppets Most Wanted, including director James Bobin, who co-wrote the film with Nicholas Stoller. Bret McKenzie is back as Music Supervisor and songwriter.

The story is good: a globe-trotting crime film hearkening back to The Great Muppet Caper. The jokes are funny; there is always good writing. I felt the movie took some time to find its footing. Despite a great opening number openly addressing the “more of the same” nature of all sequels, it took awhile for me to laugh out loud. Good bits, but nothing really funny. They got there, though.

The template for these movies is well established: a few main actors carry it, then a million cameos of varying quality. So there’s a lot riding on the main (non-Muppet) actors. It would have helped if I liked Ricky Gervais more, or at all, since it feels like he’s in nearly every scene. Ty Burrell & Tina Fey do their shtick and it’s fine.

The cameos are great; I won’t spoil any of them for you, as that’s one of the best parts of watching a Muppet movie.

You know at this point if you like these or not; I recommend Muppets Most Wanted for anyone with kids. Non-parents who grew up with the characters – I’d probably wait for video. I’d say it ranks higher than Muppets Take Manhattan but behind Great Muppet Caper.

Poster:

Trailer:

Bechdel Test:

Fail, I’m very sorry to say.

The Representation Test Score: C (5 pts)

I dunno, doing a representation test on a Muppet movie feels a little weird to begin with. To be honest, though, I could have graded this even harsher; I just couldn’t bear to give the Muppets a D…

(http://therepresentationproject.org/grading-hollywood-the-representation-test/)

Main Cast	Ricky Gervais Dominic Badguy, Ty Burrell Jean Pierre Napoleon, Tina Fey Nadya, Steve Whitmire Kermit the Frog/Foo Foo/Statler/Beaker/Lips/Rizzo the Rat/Link Hogthrob/The Newsman (voice)
Rating	PG
Release Date	Fri 21 Mar 2014 UTC
Director	James Bobin
Genres	Adventure, Comedy, Crime, Family, Musical
Plot	While on a grand world tour, The Muppets find themselves wrapped into an European jewel-heist caper headed by a Kermit the Frog look-alike and his dastardly sidekick.
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Runtime	112
Tagline	Taking the world by farce
Writers	James Bobin (written by) &, Nicholas Stoller (written by)
Year	2014

Canadian Bacon (1995)

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Not only the worst “satire” I’ve seen, among the worst movies I have ever watched. John Candy deserved better for his last released film…

What’s more:

Breathtakingly awful. Among the worst movies I have ever watched, and there have been more than a few clunkers. Proof positive, if it was needed, that nothing good can come from Michael Moore. Thankfully after this he never again tried to make a purely fictional movie. (He just settled for making op-ed pieces and calling them documentaries.)

The ONLY reason I watched this was because it was the last John Candy movie released. (Wagons East was the last he filmed, but was released first – sort of an Abbey Road/Let It Be thing. I’m preparing myself up to watch that one soon.)

And it could only be for this reason that I didn’t turn it off like I should have. I kept hoping for one good John Candy scene that I would have regretted missing – his career/life was short enough. But alas, there really was absolutely nothing redeemable about this movie. At all. (Actually, the bit where Aykroyd makes Candy spray-paint his anti-Canadian graffiti into French is not bad, even if it is a blatant rip-off of the same gag from Monty Python’s Life of Brian.)

There’s a good movie to be made about a possible USA/Canadian war, and that movie is South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut…

Poster:

Trailer:

http://youtu.be/4jf8Bt4gD9Y

Bechdel Test:

Fail

The Representation Test Score: D (2 pts)

(http://therepresentationproject.org/grading-hollywood-the-representation-test/)

Main Cast	John Candy Sheriff Bud Boomer, Alan Alda President of the United States, Rhea Perlman Honey, Kevin Pollak Stu Smiley
Rating	PG
Release Date	Fri 22 Sep 1995 UTC
Director	Michael Moore
Genres	Comedy
Plot	The U.S. President, low in the opinion polls, gets talked into raising his popularity by trying to start a cold war against Canada.
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Runtime	91
Tagline	It Gets Lonely at the Top, When There’s No More Butt to Kick.
Writers	Michael Moore (written by)
Year	1995

Thunderbolt and Lightfoot (1974)

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Cimino’s directorial debut is 2 weird movies. Part 60’s counter-culture road flick, part 70’s crime/action pic. Result uneven but not bad…

What’s more:

There must have been a memo that went around to all film studios in the 1970’s concerning the mandated amount of grittiness, meanness, and depressing endings required in all films of that time period.

It probably directed studio heads, “Celebrate the bloodless anti-hero, ignore any woman who isn’t currently naked, make sure to have any slightly hopeful character buy it by the third act and get some folky/pop song that can be used as a single. Make sure it’s catchy, because we’re going to use it uninterrupted three or more times.” What a hopeless decade…

While Clint Eastwood’s career has spanned many decades, he may arguably be most associated with the 70’s, and his tough visage is certainly the face of the era. He plays very slightly against type here as the interchangeably named Preacher, John Doherty and the Thunderbolt. Based on my reading, he gives an excellent performance in this; I must have missed it. He was his usual: fine.

Jeff Bridges, on the other hand, steals the movie as Lightfoot, a charming, ever-ready free spirit whose enthusiasm can’t be kept down. Bridges was nominated for a Best Supporting Actor Oscar, and deserved it; he is fascinating to watch.

Written & directed by Michael Cimino, Thunderbolt and Lightfoot is the story of two buddies on the road. No, it’s the story of an old con getting back in the game. No, wait, it’s a heist picture. No, it’s an action movie with lots of car chases. What is this movie? This is the 1970’s…

If the movie doesn’t quite know what it wants to be, it’s at least entertaining, though overlong by my watch. The first hour follows the wild antics of these two men as they are thrown together by a series of chases and escapes. Lots of time is spent on watching these well-matched actors with great rapport build a partnership, if it’s a touch unclear why. The scenes with these two in the first half are the best in the picture. In fact, if they had stayed in this direction, it might have made a very good buddy / chase movie.

George Kennedy, who has been trying to kill them, finally catches up and they reach détente in the best scene in the film. From there, it rapidly turns into a straightforward crime movie. Not a bad one, just not as engaging as the first half.

The film itself is gorgeous; DP Frank Stanley sure knows how to film in Big Sky Country, Montana – leave the lens open and just don’t screw it up. The aforementioned pop song is “Where Do I Go from Here”, composed and sung by the otherwise great Paul Williams.

Poster:

Trailer:

Bechdel Test:

Fail

The Representation Test Score: D (3 pts)

(http://therepresentationproject.org/grading-hollywood-the-representation-test/)

Main Cast	Clint Eastwood Thunderbolt, Jeff Bridges Lightfoot, George Kennedy Red Leary, Geoffrey Lewis Eddie Goody
Rating	R
Release Date	Mon 02 Sep 1974 UTC
Director	Michael Cimino
Genres	Comedy, Crime, Drama
Plot	With the help of an irreverent young sidekick, a bank robber gets his old gang back together to organize a daring new heist.
Poster
Runtime	115
Tagline	Thunderbolt… the man with the reputation. Lightfoot… the kid who’s about to make one!
Writers	Michael Cimino (written by)
Year	1974

Drinking Buddies (2013)

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Make sure you have a pint or two with this one. I didn’t, & I think I missed part of the spirit of the thing. Funny, honest & true to life.

What’s more:

Drinking Buddies features Kate (Olivia Wilde) and Luke (Jake Johnson), work friends who seem perfect for each other. They are both in relationships, with Chris (Ron Livingston) and Jill (Anna Kendrick), respectively, and when the two couples take a weekend trip together it tests the boundaries of friendship and their relationships.

The movie is entirely improvisational, aside from the general plot as set out by writer/director/editor Joe Swanberg. I didn’t know that before watching the movie, but knowing that now it explains a lot. The movie is only 90 minutes but it feels a hell of a lot longer than that, and I think the improv pace is probably a large part of that. The freedom and challenges offered by improvisational acting is fascinating – for actors. For the rest of us watching, “don’t bore us, get to the chorus”.

The best byproduct of the improv acting is that many of these scenes are the most natural, realistic depictions of human interaction I’ve seen in a while. This is how people talk, flirt, argue, chitchat. It’s really a breath of fresh air. Mostly. The worst offshoot, of course, is that it meanders a little bit. Like life, you say? Yes, certainly. But that’s why we have editors. Life needs a little help.

But the overarching feeling you walk away with is pleasure. It’s really a very good movie. I found myself very engaged in the characters and story. Partly because I wanted to be sampling that sweet craft beer with them, but mostly because I actively wanted to see Kate & Luke get together. I really was enthusiastically hoping that they’d make it work. Guess I’m more of a romantic than I thought…

Poster:

Trailer:

Bechdel Test:

Pass

The Representation Test Score: B (7 pts)

(http://therepresentationproject.org/grading-hollywood-the-representation-test/)

Main Cast	Olivia Wilde Kate, Jake Johnson Luke, Anna Kendrick Jill, Ron Livingston Chris
Rating	R
Release Date	Fri 01 Nov 2013 UTC
Director	Joe Swanberg
Genres	Drama, Romance
Plot	Luke and Kate are coworkers at a brewery who spend their nights drinking and flirting heavily. One weekend away together with their significant others proves who really belongs together and who doesn’t.
Poster
Runtime	90
Tagline	A comedy about knowing when to say when.
Writers	Joe Swanberg (written by)
Year	2013

Movies

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Poster:

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Bechdel Test:

The Representation Test Score: B (9 pts)

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Poster:

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Bechdel Test:

The Representation Test Score: C (5 pts)

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Bechdel Test:

The Representation Test Score: D (2 pts)

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Trailer:

Bechdel Test:

The Representation Test Score: D (3 pts)

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Poster:

Trailer:

Bechdel Test:

The Representation Test Score: B (7 pts)

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