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Cinderella (2015)

140 Character Movie Review – #140RVW

Typically well-made live-action update of classic fairy tale is aggressively ok. Far too long for little ones to sit still – parents, too…

Spoiler-free Movie Review of Cinderella:

Disney has my admiration when it comes to milking a cow. They really do not miss a single trick. Not only did they strike pure gold with their strategy of mining old fairy tales for most of their early film classics, they’re now getting a second bite at the apple by remaking all of their old hits in live action. They could frankly make movies forever without ever having to write a single story. As I’ve noted before in my review of Maleficent, I quite expect that they plan just that…

So if the idea here is to update all of the old kids animated movies for the kids of today, why is this so long? With attention spans getting shorter, why are films going in the opposite direction when it comes to run-times?

It only took 74 minutes for Walt Disney’s animation team to spirit us through the Cinderella story, and it had 6 songs – not one of which is repeated here (although I did hear one in the end credits). I don’t understand what on earth made the filmmakers responsible for the update feel that this version merited another 40 minutes. 112 minutes is far too long for kids to sit still, so who are you making this film for?

The intended audience of the film is the puzzle that stuck with me through the whole picture. Despite the serious matter inherent in the death of the titular character’s parents, it’s not a particularly dark tale. To the credit of the filmmakers, they didn’t ramp up the action or danger or anything like that. That suggests a younger target market – fair enough. But why then is it so talky and epic and repetitive?

The screenplay by Chris Weitz plays it extremely safe, but that’s not really a bad thing. There are missed opportunities and maddening decisions, sure. (Including the tale about asking the father to bring home the first branch he sees is great, but not if you don’t show the tree planted for her mother. Also, if you insist on making this picture so long, why excise the business of the ball lasting three nights and having three dresses?) But at least he didn’t try to hit the LOTR-y with unnecessary villains and battle scenes, or placing the heroes in great danger.

Similarly, although the acting is quite good, the actors are seldom given any real room to create something new. Most noteworthy, as you might expect, is Cate Blanchett. She turns in a predictably great performance as the wicked stepmother Lady Tremaine, and in adding a hint of subtle suggestion that the woman’s actions are driven by a sad backstory gets just enough opportunity to let you see how much better of a character you’re not going to be getting. This is a real missed opportunity to make this character slightly less one-dimensional.

Most of the characters are fairly milquetoast, so any added embellishments do little to distinguish them, but they are fine performances nonetheless. Lily James is perfectly suited to the role of Cinderella, and her interactions with her dead mother & father walking (Hayley Atwell & Ben Chaplin, respectively) are lovely and earnest if a touch heavy on the treacle.

Helena Bonham Carter kind of phones in her turn as the Fairy Godmother. Her casting was actually probably a good call, but the whole sequence seems extraordinarily rote and hurried. The picture has a lot of pacing problems, with certain scenes overstaying their welcome, but you wouldn’t have expected the only magical portion of the story to have been directed as though the pumpkin coach was double-parked. This is the best part of the story for kids!

I noted with interest that they actually added some significant interaction between the King (Derek Jacobi) and Prince Charming (Richard Madden), allowing them to express familial love. It’s fine, but the cynic in me was accutely aware that this may be Disney’s attempt at a Frozen / Maleficent moment for males.

That leads me to the conundrum that Disney has created with these films. As an audience member, you have now been trained to expect a “hook” or a surprising twist. Watching these Disney updates has become an exercise not unlike going to a Christopher Nolan or M. Night Shaymalan film – no matter how much you may be enjoying the picture, you are distracted the whole time wondering what third act surprise they’re going to drop on you. I find I can only really enjoy these films upon a second viewing, when I’m no longer focused on what they’re planning next. Similarly, I spent the entirety of Cinderella wondering if they were going to pull some metaphorical play like having the slipper not fit but the prince realizes that Cinderella fits in his heart or some similar drivel.

Another aside; I couldn’t shake the feeling that there were a lot of meetings at the studio about how the depiction of Cinderella in Into the Woods was going to differ from this picture. I strongly suspect that Branagh was instructed to play it straight and not go for the darker parts of the original tale since that ground would be covered by the studio’s other picture. Oh, and by the way Branagh? You’re slumming, pal…

The picture is absolutely gorgeous. The set design, the costumes, the photography – it’s all superb. In some ways it’s like the Oscar-bait films that are always nominated but never seriously considered. You only get partial credit for succeeding with these films; they’re supposed to be gorgeous…

So, after that overlong review – was it any good? I suppose so. Despite my stated ambivalence about the overlong runtime and surfeit of humor, the kids in the theater seemed to go for it. Most of the adults looked bored – I sure was – but my daughter loved it. So, mission accomplished, I guess…

Oh, and the cynical decision to throw a Frozen short at the beginning of the film to increase ticket sales paid off big time. The picture had a smash opening weekend, and I’m certain half of the ticket sales are due to the inclusion of Frozen Fever (which was cute, if slight). It certainly ensured our attendance at a picture that looked a little underwhelming. Well played, mouse…

Poster:

Trailer:

Bechdel Test:

Pass

The Representation Test Score: B (8 pts)

(http://therepresentationproject.org/grading-hollywood-the-representation-test/)

[schema type=”movie” url=”http://movies.disney.com/cinderella/” name=”Cinderella” description=”The story of “Cinderella” follows the fortunes of young Ella whose merchant father remarries following the tragic death of her mother. Keen to support her loving father, Ella welcomes her new stepmother Lady Tremaine and her daughters Anastasia and Drizella into the family home. But when Ella’s father suddenly and unexpectedly passes away, she finds herself at the mercy of a jealous and cruel new family. Finally relegated to nothing more than a servant girl covered in ashes, and spitefully renamed Cinderella since she used to work in the cinders, Ella could easily begin to lose hope. Yet, despite the cruelty inflicted upon her, Ella is determined to honor her mother’s dying words and to “have courage and be kind.” She will not give in to despair nor despise those who abuse her. And then there is the dashing stranger she meets in the woods. Unaware that he is really a prince, not merely an employee at the palace, Ella finally feels she has met a kindred soul. ” director=”Kenneth Branagh” actor_1=”Lily James” ]

Main Cast	Lily James Cinderella, Cate Blanchett Stepmother, Richard Madden Prince, Helena Bonham Carter Fairy Godmother
Rating	PG
Release Date	Fri 13 Mar 2015 UTC
Director	Kenneth Branagh
Genres	Adventure, Drama, Family, Fantasy, Romance
Plot	When her father unexpectedly passes away, young Ella finds herself at the mercy of her cruel stepmother and her daughters. Never one to give up hope, Ella’s fortunes begin to change after meeting a dashing stranger.
Poster
Runtime	112
Tagline	Midnight is just the beginning.
Writers	Chris Weitz (screenplay)
Year	2015

March 16, 2015

Terry Pratchett: My 10 Favorite Quotes
In 2004, Terry Pratchett came to Boston to be the Guest of Honor at WorldCon and did the first local signing in the over ten years I’d been reading his books. It was at the Boston Public Library. My wife & daughter were both ill, so I went by myself. (My wife would later get to see him speak a few years later at Harvard.)

I expected the usual book signing experience – author reads a bit, takes a couple of questions, then signs til hand falls off. But Pterry came out and put on a one-man show, talking at length about a variety of subjects for nearly 2 hours. He was charming, hysterical, insightful and everything his writing led you to expect.

Afterwards, I waited for nearly as long in line to see him. I was quite literally the last person in line since I’d gone off to make a phone call to check on my family right after the talk. He chatted and signed a book for everyone, despite how late it was getting and how much time he’d already spent at this gig.

When I finally reached the front I asked if he wouldn’t mind signing two books, since neither of my girls could be there. He said, “Well, I’m only supposed to sign one but it’s the back of the queue” and graciously signed them, commenting on how pretty my daughter Moira’s name was and shook my hand.

I was truly honored to meet such a great man.

“The thing about witchcraft,” said Mistress Weatherwax, “is that it’s not like school at all. First you get the test, and then afterward you spend years findin’ out how you passed it. It’s a bit like life in that respect.”

You passed, Terry…

My top 10 favorite Pterry quotes:
1. “We are here and this is now.” – Night Watch
2. “But there are causes worth dying for,” said Butterfly. “No, there aren’t! Because you’ve only got one life but you can pick up another five causes on any street corner!” “Good grief, how can you live with a philosophy like that?” Rincewind took a deep breath. “Continuously!” – Interesting Times
3. “I will give you some free advice.” “Will it cost me anything?” “You could say it is priceless. Are you listening?” “Yes.” “Good. Now … if you trust in yourself…” “Yes?” “… and believe in your dreams…” “Yes?” “… and follow your star…” “Yes?” “… you’ll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren’t so lazy.” – The Wee Free Men
4. “What is there in this world that makes living worthwhile?” Death thought about it. CATS, he said finally. CATS ARE NICE. – Sourcery
5. “The reward you get for digging holes is a bigger shovel.” – I Shall Wear Midnight
6. “Sometimes it’s better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.” – Men at Arms
7. “It’s vital to remember who you really are. It’s very important. It isn’t a good idea to rely on other people or things to do it for you, you see. They always get it wrong.” – Sourcery
8. “Or, to put it another way, the existence of a badly put-together watch proved the existence of a blind watchmaker.” – Small Gods
9. “Inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.” – Moving Pictures
10. “Give a man a fire and he’s warm for a day, but set fire to him and he’s warm for the rest of his life.” – Jingo
Honorable mention:
- “Winners never talk about glorious victories. That’s because they’re the ones who see what the battlefield looks like afterward. It’s only the losers who have glorious victories.” – Small Gods
- “The reason that clichés become clichés is that they are the hammers and screwdrivers in the toolbox of communication.” – Guards! Guards!
- “They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it is not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.” – Equal Rites
- THAT’S MORTALS FOR YOU, Death continued. THEY’VE ONLY GOT A FEW YEARS IN THIS WORLD AND THEY SPEND THEM ALL IN MAKING THINGS COMPLICATED FOR THEMSELVES. – Mort
- William wondered why he always disliked people who said “no offense meant.” Maybe it was because they found it easier to say “no offense meant”than actually refrain from giving offense. – The Truth
- “You get a wonderful view from the point of no return.” – Making Money
- “Logic is a wonderful thing but doesn’t always beat actual thought.” – The Last Continent
- “I have no use for people who have learned the limits of the possible.” – The Last Hero
- “I commend my soul to any god that can find it.” – Going Postal
- “His progress through life was hampered by his tremendous sense of his own ignorance, a disability which affects all too few people.” – Maskerade
Thanks to:

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Discworld

http://www.co.uk.lspace.org/books/pqf/index.html
March 12, 2015

Mr. Peabody & Sherman (2014)

140 Character Movie Review – #140RVW

Exactly what it looks like. Well-made: did good job of maintaining the spirit of the old cartoon, but instantly forgettable (like cartoon?).

Spoiler-free Movie Review of Mr. Peabody & Sherman:

I loved Rocky & Bullwinkle as a kid – still do – and the Mr. Peabody & Sherman cartoons were a big highlight. I love the awful puns, the understated humor, the delivery – it’s all great. So I viewed this DreamWorks Animation feature with trepidation. I assumed that it would be funny – I also assumed that it would be a completely paint-by-numbers “modern” cg-makeover that was obligated to create an unnecessary story with conflicts and character arcs. Sometimes it would be nice to be surprised…

There’s a scene in the underrated 1990 comedy Quick Change in which Bill Murray’s character, a jaded and burnt out city planner who has decided to become a bank robber, stares at the glass monstrosity of a new skyscraper going up and dejectedly laments, “Why do they have to do this?” I feel that way every time one of these movies based on increasingly questionable source material is announced. Every single thing created in our world does not need to be adapted to film. They’re making feature films based on board games at this point for goodness sake.

I’d have to say I liked Mr. Peabody & Sherman, since it would be untrue to say I disliked it. It was completely serviceable. With most reviews I’d make some comment that adequate is probably not what they were going for, but in this case I think it may have been. I’m becoming increasingly convinced that these cg-animated movies are aiming extremely low.

Sure, the jokes were pretty good and they brought over the sensibility of the cartoon exactly. But then they built it up with the usual DreamWorks Animation crap – you know, the too cool for school pop culture references that you aren’t really sure what audience they’re targeted to. I hate that crap. It shows a complete lack of respect for the audience.

I came to this conclusion when I asked the rhetorical question “how do they think this stuff will play in a few years’ time?” That’s when I realized they simply are not concerned with that. They are making a movie for right now – there isn’t a thought given to the shelf life of the movie. That shows not just shortsightedness, but also implies a disdain for the work itself. You can’t spend this much money and time on something and not care about its legacy unless you really don’t feel that it has any value to begin with. (Although, based on the disappointing box office receipts that caused the studio to take a $57 million write-down on it and nearly single-handedly tanked the stock and made the company vulnerable to takeover bids, maybe they were right…)

So yes, I submit that the filmmakers and this studio in particular have no respect for the work they are creating and are just making widgets. Well, mission accomplished. See ya soon for the Connect Four movie…

By the way, this film has inspired me to create a new section on the site, #140FAQ, where I post my Frequently Asked Questions (mine, not yours) in 140 characters. Here’s the first:

#140FAQ Is there some sort of rule that all cg-animated movies must have a “funny” end scene of characters dancing to pop song? #BlameShrek