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The Karate Kid (1984)

140 Character Movie Review – #140RVW

30 years (&1 week) ago, Daniel-san crane kicked his way into theaters. Still a fantastic picture, funny & inspirational to me & my daughter.

Spoiler-free Movie Review of The Karate Kid:

As I’ve been writing these reviews for this blog, I’ve tried to focus on a number of movies as they celebrate big anniversaries. None have been more satisfying as the 30 year films, as when I rewatch them now, my daughter is seeing them for the first time at the same age that I was when they were released. It’s a great chance to see if the movies resonate with a modern eleven year old as they did 30 years ago.

The Karate Kid was right in my wheelhouse when it debuted in 1984. I was the perfect age for the tale of an awkward bullied kid who learns balance through karate from a mysterious and wise mentor. Like virtually everyone else, I remember kicking and punching all the way back to the car after leaving the theater.

It’s an inspiring movie, and a fun one. It’s Rocky, essentially. The films share a director, so that’s probably intentional. Which is not to say that The Karate Kid is not an original movie, just that it has a common ancestry with the Rocky franchise and a similar approach to crafting feel-good sports stories. (Among other things, the Survivor song “You’re the Best” that plays during the tournament was written for Rocky III before being replaced with “Eye of the Tiger” from that same band.)

The story by Robert Mark Kamen (near the beginning of what would be a hugely successful career) is fresh and solid. It borrows the usual high school conflicts and relationships but makes it all new again with the mentoring relationship of Miyagi.

The acting is fun, particularly with the casting of Noriyuki “Pat” Morita as Kesuke Miyagi. Morita would receive an entirely deserved Best Supporting Actor Oscar nomination.

Did you know they wanted Mako to play Mr. Miyagi but he was already committed to Conan the Destroyer? See, there’s exactly one good thing about Conan the Destroyer…

It can’t be overstated how hugely successful the pairing of Morita and Macchio is. The obvious respect and caring between these two entirely make the picture. It’s a great and unique partnership, not unseen in film previously, but very fresh and it gives this movie a depth that may not come across from the story alone.

Macchio was 22 at time of filming. Just reflect on that for a minute as you look at the stills. This guy would play young for much of his early career, but play well. I’ve always enjoyed his pictures.

You know what I never really noticed the 20-odd times I saw this movie in the 80’s? Daniel-san is kind of a jerk. I mean, I obviously was aware of how whiny he was, but he was a much more sympathetic character when I was 11 than he is now. In his dealings with would-be girlfriend Ali (Elizabeth Shue in her film debut), he’s a total tool. You want her to slap him around. Her character is really weak.

And don’t forget William Zabka as Johnny Lawrence, the “real” karate kid, according to Barney Stinson…

The Karate Kid is a quintessential 1980’s movie, with all the good and bad that entails. It is fun and well-made and surprisingly holds up very strongly today.

Poster:

Trailer:

Bechdel Test:

Fail

The Representation Test Score: C (5 pts)

(http://therepresentationproject.org/grading-hollywood-the-representation-test/)

[schema type=”movie” name=”The Karate Kid” description=”A handyman/martial arts master agrees to teach a bullied boy karate and shows him that there is more to the martial art than fighting.” director=”John G. Avildsen” actor_1=”Ralph Macchio” ]

Main Cast	Ralph Macchio Daniel, Pat Morita (as Noriyuki ‘Pat’ Morita) Miyagi, Elisabeth Shue Ali, Martin Kove Kreese
Rating	PG
Release Date	Fri 22 Jun 1984 UTC
Director	John G. Avildsen
Genres	Action, Drama, Family, Sport
Plot	A handyman/martial arts master agrees to teach a bullied boy karate and shows him that there is more to the martial art than fighting.
Poster
Runtime	126
Tagline	Only the ‘Old One’ could teach him the secrets of the masters.
Writers	Robert Mark Kamen (written by)
Year	1984

June 30, 2014

Conan the Destroyer (1984)

140 Character Movie Review – #140RVW

PG-rated sequel isn’t actually as awful as I remember. Scant praise, maybe, but I remember it being truly wretched. It just isn’t any good.

Spoiler-free Movie Review of Conan the Destroyer:

Conan was always intended to be a saga, for obvious reasons. The character’s roots were in serial stories that could go on more or less forever and the premise lends itself to multiple sequels. So after the success of Conan the Barbarian, this film was inevitable and so should have been more successful. Sadly, it’s a classic franchise-killer.

Watching it now, on the 30th anniversary of its release, it’s really nowhere near as bad as I remembered it being. It certainly is not a good movie, but it really shouldn’t have stopped the film franchise dead in its tracks. I rather suspect that the bigger reason that no further sequel was forthcoming is that Schwarzenegger was simply too big of a star at this point to waste any more time on it unless it was going to be a guaranteed success. The other reason may have been that 1984 was a banner year for movies and this film looked even worse than it would have next to its peers. Conan the Destroyer was released a week after The Karate Kid, and with that, Ghostbusters & Gremlins still in theaters, why would you go see this?

Plans for Conan the Conqueror as a third picture went straight into development hell as Ahnold became a superstar with The Terminator, released later in 1984. They even recycled the script, turning it into Kull the Conqueror, “starring” Kevin Sorbo. (Kull is apparently another barbarian hero created by Robert E. Howard. No, I didn’t know that, I looked it up. My interest only goes so far.) I am uncomfortably aware that a third film is once again in development, called King Conan or the Legend of Conan, depending on who you listen to. Please stop.

I am also aware that there was one more film to follow this one, Red Sonja, in which Schwarzenegger briefly returns as Conan, but since it is universally regarded as one of the worst films ever made, I’m choosing to ignore it.

So where did they go wrong? Everywhere, really. All of the A-listers involved in the first picture are absent here. New director (Richard Fleischer) & new screenwriter (Stanley Mann), both downgrades, work off of a comic book storyline, which does lead to a very comic book feel, in this instance meaning episodic and without any real weight. The picture simply feels like “the continuing adventures of…” without any importance and with the expectation of another equally bland tale next month. This probably would have made a very good episode of a Conan TV show, such as the Hercules show made in the 90’s with Kevin Sorbo (there’s that name again).

Part of the comic book feel must surely be attributed to the downgrading of the rating from an R to a PG. Maybe if this had been made a few months later when they had created the PG-13 rating we’d be left with something a little less jarring, but in the landscape the movie was made in, if the studio wanted to make bank, they needed to tone down the violence to get the PG. Less violence wouldn’t necessarily have been a deal-killer, since this was the 80’s and PG films still contained quite a bit of content that wouldn’t fly today. No, the problem is the other thing studios do to make a picture more family-friendly – add “humor”. Humor in this case usually means comic relief characters, and this is no exception here, with the inclusion of Tracey Walter as cringe-inducing Malak. Walter plays him as if it were a character from another movie in another country that had been surgically introduced here and voiced by someone who didn’t understand the language.

The acting is terrible across the board, really. Olivia d’Abo plays Princess Jehnna but reminds you more of Willie Scott, the shrieking damsel from Temple of Doom (also still in theaters at this time). Grace Jones is here to remind you that you are right in the middle of the 80’s. Wilt Chamberlain is in this movie – really. It’s his only film role. See if you can guess why. He’s…well, he’s Wilt Chamberlain, but he has a wig. Sarah Douglas, Ursa from the first two Superman pictures also appears in this movie. That’s about as much as I’m willing to say.

(André “The Giant” Roussimouff makes an uncredited appearance as Dagoth the god/monster thingy, but you won’t recognize him.)

But nothing is so disheartening as Conan himself. He talks more – and that’s bad. Do you know that in the first picture he speaks only five words to his leading lady, all within the first 30 seconds of meeting her? (“You’re not a guard.” and then “No.”) That’s it. Now, he’s not exactly eloquent in this movie, but he’s changed far too much since the first movie and that’s a fatal mistake.

There’s a story here, but I’m not going to bore you with it. It stinks. Give this one a pass and go rewatch the original.