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1995

The Lost World (1995)

The Lost World
The Lost World by Michael Crichton

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Michael Crichton never wrote a sequel to any of his novels until Steven Spielberg talked him into doing so following Jurassic Park. He never wrote another sequel after The Lost World, either. Make of that what you will…

That may sound like the buildup to a very negative review, but the truth is I mostly like The Lost World. The book, that is. The movie is crap, but we’ll get to that with the next review…

Sure, the biggest problem with the novel is that there is no pressing need for it to exist; it’s a blatant cash-in and marks probably the only opportunistic move of Crichton’s career. But The Lost World is not at all a bad tale for all of that. The main reason is that Crichton actually comes up with a creative and interesting premise.

Despite the ridiculous tagline of both the novel and the film, “Something has survived”, The Lost World is not simply a variation on a theme – a sequel being created out of the ashes of the first story that callously and simplistically tosses aside the logic of the original. Mostly…

It certainly starts that way, not only retconning Ian Malcolm back to life but rehashing the “strange animals appearing in South America” opening of the first book. Other than the obvious logical leap that Malcolm wasn’t actually killed in Jurassic Park, the structure is fairly tight.

Malcolm was an interesting character in the first book, but he has actually undergone obvious changes and growth as a result of his experience on Isla Nublar six years earlier. So Crichton introduces a new arrogant and irritating genius, Richard Levine, who possesses none of the likability or charm of Malcolm, making his parts of the novel joyless. That the character didn’t make the film adaptation is absolutely no surprise.

The conceit is simple but clever: Jurassic Park was a tourist attraction, not a serious manufacturing plant. No enterprise of this scale could possibly have presented as well as the park on Isla Nublar did (you know, before people started getting eaten). Levine and Malcolm postulate that the actual cloning and growing of the animals must have taken place at a different location. It’s certainly a better concept than I would have expected; that’s a solid, reasonable assumption, and so the existence of another South American island full of dinosaurs isn’t (totally) as ludicrous as it sounds when I repeat it. In the film, the raison d’être is mentioned in passing ten minutes into the picture in possibly the all-time worst and most rushed exposition scene of all time. But in the novel, the explanation doesn’t take place until a quarter of the way through the book, and it’s the best scene in the whole thing.

Other than that, it’s pretty straightforward. There are different wrinkles this time, newer characters and newer perils, but it’s more or less the same adventure from the first story. Malcolm even gets severely injured and delivers scholarly dissertations while doped up on morphine – again.

Other than Levine, the new characters are pretty good. Characterization isn’t Crichton’s long suit, but it’s nice to see a strong female character in Dr. Sarah Harding. Actually, the dynamic isn’t radically different from Jurassic Park – a male & female scientist as the leads, two precocious kids, a sacrificial outdoorsman and a few other characters to pad the body count.

The Lost World novel shares a somewhat unsatisfactory ending with the original Jurassic Park. There are some great set-pieces in the book, but the story doesn’t end much differently than it began, just with fewer people.

I suppose the only reason I can’t wholeheartedly recommend The Lost World is the futility of the thing. Crichton does a good job making you understand why Malcolm would willingly go back into the T-Rex’s Den, so to speak, but he’s the only person with a respectable reason. The only other character who seems to have plausible motivation is the “villain”. #WeGotDodgson

we got dodgson here

Despite the above criticisms, I rather enjoy The Lost World. It has dinosaurs, for goodness sake…

I probably sat down and read the novel once or twice, but I’ve listened to the abridged audiobook version read by Anthony Heald something on the order of 100 times. These stories are very revisitable…

[schema type=”book” url=”http://www.crichton-official.com/books-lostworld-history.html” name=”The Lost World” description=”Six years after the death of John Hammond and the mysterious destruction of his Jurassic Park island of Isla Nubla, mathematician Ian Malcolm discovers a second island off Costa Rica, where Hammond created his genetically bred dinosaurs. He travels there with a scientific research team including paleobiologist Richard Levine, Sarah Harding, and two stowaway kids, Kelly and Arby, both 11 years old. Once on the island, they find themselves on the run for their lives from some of the killer dinosaurs with whom Ian has already crossed paths, along with some new killers. The group not only has to contend with the dinosaurs, but with murderous rival scientist Lewis Dodgson and his cronies, who are out to steal the dinosaur eggs for themselves, as well. ” author=”Michael Crichton” publisher=”Alfred A. Knopf” pubdate=”1995-09-17″ isbn=”“Something has survived.” Misleading tagline for the mixed bag that is Michael Crichton’s Jurassic Park sequel novel, The Lost World (1995). Review…” ebook=”yes” paperback=”yes” hardcover=”yes” ]

June 19, 2015Filed Under: Books, Reviews Tagged With: 1995

Tank Girl (1995)

#140RVW

Dreadful adaptation of great comic could only have been made in the 1990’s, and didn’t even work then. Unmitigated disaster of a film.

Tank Girl

What’s more:

My sister turned me on to the Tank Girl comics by Jamie Hewlett & Alan Martin in the early 90’s. They were irreverent, totally unique, and I loved them instantly. This movie: kangaroo dung.

Tank Girl

I don’t know what possessed United Artists to make this movie, aside from some wild assumption on their part that the “grrrrl” movement may put a few bums in seats. Massive miscalculation. I was in college when this came out and I can’t remember a single person going to this movie or even talking about it.

This thing only could have come out when it did. Riding a wave of edgy “youth” movies, the thing plays like a frenetic nightmare desperately screaming “Look at me! I’m being edgy!”

Tank Girl

How bad is it?

  • It fails the Malcolm McDowall test – that’s a deal-killer by itself.
  • It fails the rocker test; Iggy Pop shows up. Granted, he’s Iggy, so you can’t tell him apart from all of the other freaks…
  • It fails the rapper test; Ice-T not only “acts” but contributes a “song”. The fact that he is hidden under Stan Winston makeup I consider a mitigating circumstance. Unfortunately, the makeup is that of a mutated kangaroo with Caucasian skin grafts. Intensely disturbing.
  • The set design proves that while $25 million dollars is a small budget, it’s still too much money if you don’t know what to do with it.
  • Courtney Love was a music consultant…
  • The story is a train wreck. I’m giving the benefit of the doubt to the filmmakers here, though, as they fought bitterly with the studio at every turn (and lost). While a great story wasn’t strictly necessary to making a cool, stylized movie of this type, the Mad Max one they ended up turning this into is the pits.

Tank Girl

I actually think Lori Petty is pretty great in the titular role. She seems to get the character and does her part well. Pity she’s American. It’s painful to watch Naomi Watts in this. Bet this got left off a few resumes.

Tank Girl

At the end of the day it was simply ill-advised making this movie. The comic is brilliant but was never going to translate no matter what you did. There’s really nothing salvageable here, but I do have an idea that could have at least saved them all some money. They should have cast Gwen Stefani as the lead and got some heat off of that. Actually, that may have been a little off, time-wise. No Doubt was white-hot in 1995 but probably too late for filming this. The idea holds, though; I would have hired any one of the Spice Girls (reportedly 3 of them were in contention for the role). The movie would have been no better (probably even worse) but the box office would have gotten a bump…

Poster:

Trailer:

Bechdel Test:

Yes

The Representation Test Score: B (9 pts)

(http://therepresentationproject.org/grading-hollywood-the-representation-test/)

Representation Test

 

Main Cast Lori Petty Tank Girl, Ice-T T-Saint, Naomi Watts Jet Girl, Don Harvey Sgt. Small
Rating R
Release Date Fri 31 Mar 1995 UTC
Director Rachel Talalay
Genres Action, Comedy, Sci-Fi
Plot Based on the British cult comic-strip, our tank-riding anti-heroine fights a mega-corporation, which controls the world’s water supply.
Poster Tank Girl
Runtime 104
Tagline In 2033, justice rides a tank and wears lip gloss
Writers Alan Martin (comic strip) and, Jamie Hewlett (comic strip) …
Year 1995

April 16, 2014Filed Under: Movies, Reviews Tagged With: 1995

Canadian Bacon (1995)

#140RVW

Not only the worst “satire” I’ve seen, among the worst movies I have ever watched. John Candy deserved better for his last released film…

Canadian Bacon

What’s more:

Breathtakingly awful. Among the worst movies I have ever watched, and there have been more than a few clunkers. Proof positive, if it was needed, that nothing good can come from Michael Moore. Thankfully after this he never again tried to make a purely fictional movie. (He just settled for making op-ed pieces and calling them documentaries.)

Canadian Bacon

The ONLY reason I watched this was because it was the last John Candy movie released. (Wagons East was the last he filmed, but was released first – sort of an Abbey Road/Let It Be thing. I’m preparing myself up to watch that one soon.)

And it could only be for this reason that I didn’t turn it off like I should have. I kept hoping for one good John Candy scene that I would have regretted missing – his career/life was short enough. But alas, there really was absolutely nothing redeemable about this movie. At all. (Actually, the bit where Aykroyd makes Candy spray-paint his anti-Canadian graffiti into French is not bad, even if it is a blatant rip-off of the same gag from Monty Python’s Life of Brian.)

There’s a good movie to be made about a possible USA/Canadian war, and that movie is South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut…

Poster:

Trailer:

http://youtu.be/4jf8Bt4gD9Y

Bechdel Test:

Fail

The Representation Test Score: D (2 pts)

(http://therepresentationproject.org/grading-hollywood-the-representation-test/)

Representation Test

Main Cast John Candy Sheriff Bud Boomer, Alan Alda President of the United States, Rhea Perlman Honey, Kevin Pollak Stu Smiley
Rating PG
Release Date Fri 22 Sep 1995 UTC
Director Michael Moore
Genres Comedy
Plot The U.S. President, low in the opinion polls, gets talked into raising his popularity by trying to start a cold war against Canada.
Poster Canadian Bacon
Runtime 91
Tagline It Gets Lonely at the Top, When There’s No More Butt to Kick.
Writers Michael Moore (written by)
Year 1995

March 21, 2014Filed Under: Movies, Reviews Tagged With: 1995

Clueless (1995)

140 Character Movie Review – #140RVW

Fast Times director Heckerling strikes gold again with another high school movie, another star-making classic, this one also written by her.

Clueless

Spoiler-free Movie Review of Clueless:

I’ve never read Jane Austen’s Emma or seen any of the 3,000 or so film or TV adaptations, but I feel confident this is the funniest interpretation of the story. One of my wife’s favorite movies, and her good taste is evident here.

Clueless

I’m sure the movie wasn’t meant to be a 1990’s time capsule, but it certainly is a good primer on the decade. Not just another teen movie, although all the hallmarks are there. The difference has to be in the writing. When Amy Heckerling struck gold with Fast Times at Ridgemont High, she was helped by Cameron Crowe’s script. But her screenplay here shows a real depth of talent.

Clueless

The acting is quite solid. No standout performances, exactly (although Silverstone is wonderful), but fresh new faces helped out by career character actors like Dan Hedaya & Wallace Shawn. Baby-faced Paul Rudd is a startling sight, but not more so than Donald Faison in braces.

Clueless

I do have to say that I really didn’t care for the last five minutes. Got tied up really neatly, more or less out of the blue. Wasn’t expecting Rosebud or anything, but the Hollywood ending just came outta nowhere.

Poster:

Trailer:

Bechdel Test:

Pass

The Representation Test Score: A (11 pts)

(http://therepresentationproject.org/grading-hollywood-the-representation-test/)

Clueless Representation Test

[schema type=”movie” name=”Clueless” description=”Jane Austen might never have imagined that her 1816 novel Emma could be turned into a fresh and satirical look at ultra-rich teenagers in a Beverly Hills high school. Cher (Alicia Silverstone) and Dionne (Stacey Dash), both named after “great singers of the past that now do infomercials,” are pampered upper-class girls who care less about getting good grades than wearing the right clothes and being as popular as possible. But Cher, who lives with her tough yet warm-hearted lawyer dad (Dan Hedaya) and hunky, sensitive stepbrother (Paul Rudd), also has an innate urge to help those less fortunate, like the two introverted teachers she brings together (“negotiating” herself improved grades in the process) and new friend Tai (Brittany Murphy), who starts out a geek and ends up a Cher prodigy. Cher also possesses her own sensitive side, and she is looking for the perfect boyfriend, whom she ends up finding where she least expected.” director=”Amy Heckerling” actor_1=”Alicia Silverstone” ]

Main Cast Alicia Silverstone Cher
Stacey Dash Dionne
Brittany Murphy Tai
Paul Rudd Josh
Rating PG-13
Release Date Wed 19 Jul 1995 UTC
Director Amy Heckerling
Genres Comedy, Romance
Plot A rich high school student tries to boost a new pupil’s popularity, but reckons without affairs of the heart getting in the way.
Poster Clueless
Runtime 97
Tagline Sex. Clothes. Popularity. Is there a problem here?
Writers Amy Heckerling (written by)
Year 1995

January 17, 2014Filed Under: Movies, Reviews Tagged With: 1995

#140RVW: Clockers (1995)

Spike’s 1st adaptation really focuses his directing, making for crisp narrative. Sayeed’s DP work is truly unique & special. Cast sizzles…

Clockers

Poster:

Trailer:

December 8, 2013Filed Under: #140RVW, Movies, Reviews Tagged With: 1995

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