Needs to be judged for what it is: one of the first fan edits, based off of a VHS copy. Decent edit for the time that kicked off a movement.
Spoiler-free Movie Review of Star Wars: Episode I.II – The Phantom Edit:
Fanedits are great fun. While I truly venerate original works, I have always been fascinated by the classical music conept of “variations on a theme”. I love remixes, reimaginings, alternate versions – anything that takes an original idea and creatively adds something to it. The original work should always be kept intact – the idea isn’t to replace, merely to enhance. I may be a snob, but I’m not a purist; cover versions of songs are great.
The Phantom Edit wasn’t the first fanedit, but it was probably the first to achieve a high degree of visibility. The story of a film professional re-editing the most hyped film in modern movie history spread around Web 1.0 at just the right time. It resonated with a lot of disappointed Star Wars fans who felt let down by Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace.
As I’ve stated before, I am a fan of the prequels. I have a ton of problems with them, yes, but I’m still happy that Lucas made them. I liked The Phantom Menace then and I like it now. But yes, I appreciate and approve of the 20 minute haircut that the film gets here.
Episode I definitely needed some work, and without access to the source materials, there is a limit to what can be corrected. The major addition is subtraction; while certain Jar Jar antics and the midichlorian nonsense get the axe, most of the work is done with a scalpel. It’s trim work, not wholesale excising, and the pace is improved as a result. The edits are largely minor, a bit here and there, slimming down the narrative. But film is an artform of timing and beats, frames and pacing, and these things make a huge difference.
I’ve seen edits of all of the films in the past 15 years that rival and surpass what The Phantom Editor (Mike J. Nichols) accomplished with only a VHS tape of the original film, but The Phantom Edit is still an impressive achievement.
Dungeons & Dragons turned 40 years old in January of this year (2014). In recognition, we are rebranding our site for one week to Now Very Beholder… and focusing just on the films that star or in some way revolve around D&D.
140 Character Movie Review – #140RVW
Very few redeeming features to this absolutely awful picture that looks like a (bad) tv show, which it almost certainly should have been…
Spoiler-free Movie Review of Dungeons & Dragons:
Look, let’s start from the premise that this is a bad movie, but not as bad as you’ve been told. Because it isn’t. Oh, it certainly isn’t good; it’s not even ok. But it isn’t the worst movie you’ve ever seen or even close. Damning with faint praise, I know…
But I’m going out on a limb saying even that much. This movie is reviled and the reasons are all too obvious. Even if it didn’t have to overcome fanboy expectation and criticism it is by several yards quite awful. But upon my second viewing I did catch glimpses of things that, watered properly and with the guidance of a professional, could have borne fruit. Unfortunately, due at least partially to the meddling of TSR (former owners of the brand), the film was shepherded by a completely inexperienced team who are simply in over their heads.
Rather than hashing out the plot and picking apart every boneheaded decision, I’m just going to include my notes, typed out while watching for the second time (the first time, years ago, I had my eyes closed for most of the time):
You know, if this was a made for tv project, no one would really complain.
It’s fine until people show up on screen and start talking.
Ridley & Snails – do we really have to follow these idiots through the whole movie?
Damodar – blue lips. Then later he gets bright red ears – how could any producer worth their salt allow this? I note with interest if not surprise that once they bring him back for the sequel the blue lips mysteriously disappear.
This worm thing in Damodar’s head is a deal-breaker. It’s gross and off-putting.
Profion – for every time you wonder why people use awful wigs in fantasy films, Jeremy Irons is here to provide the answer – normal haircuts just look weird in these movies.
The effects aren’t good but not awful either – for the time.
I’d like to say the acting is terrible, but really I’m not sure that’s fair. The actors are just doing what they’re being told. If they are given a dreadful script and bad production and poor direction, I don’t know how this could go any other way.
While this is mostly crap that looks like the producers have never played the game, just had it explained to them, there are elements that betray an actual involvement by the game creators. The maze sequence is actually quite excellent and very much in the spirit of D&D.
Some of the sets are pretty good, if filmed in a better light.
I admit that the appearance of the Eye of the Beholder about halfway through the movie is a welcome sight (heh, heh) for an old D&D fan. Ditto the quicksand rug.
As terrible as this movie is, with not a lot of work it could have actually been very good. They did a lot of the heavy lifting, but it’s deeply flawed. Just shooting the thing properly would have upgraded it to merely “not very good”. Losing a couple of the humor-first characters like Snails and the dwarf and would have at least have made it something fanboys could argue about.
Amazingly, it’s about an hour into the movie before the first real swordwork. And it’s brief at that – more fist fighting than anything else. Guess they didn’t want to spend the budget on sword training.
It is actually fun to watch Marlon Wayans get beaten to a pulp.
The mage has completely lost her ability to do any magic once there are boys around
Elf land is cool looking and best depiction until LOTR showed up a year later.
The elf’s breastplate is literally that. It even has nipples. Really?
75 minutes in our hero enters a dungeon – this is the scene we’ve been waiting for. This hints at what a good D&D movie could be like.
Dragon on dragon fighting is why we are here.
I’m not going to try to convince you not to hate Dungeons & Dragons. It’s cheesy, poorly filmed and directed and stuffed with poor attempts at humor. But if you squint you can find moments that confirm your belief that a good Dungeons & Dragons movie could be made one day. The made for tv sequels were worlds better, possibly because they punched their weight. Or in this case, fought beasts of their own level…
[schema type=”movie” url=”http://dnd.wizards.com/” name=”Dungeons & Dragons” description=”The Empire of Izmer has long been a divided land. The Mages – an elite group of magic-users – rule whilst the lowly commoners are powerless. Izmer’s young Empress, Savina, wants equality and prosperity for all, but the evil Mage Profion is plotting to depose her and establish his own rule. The Empress possesses a scepter which controls Izmer’s Golden Dragons. To challenge her rule, Profion must have the scepter, and tricks the Council of Mages into believing Savina is unfit to hold it. Knowing that Profion will bring death and destruction to Izmer, Savina must find the legendary Rod of Savrille, a mythical rod that has the power to control Red Dragons, a species even mightier than the Gold. Enter two thieves, Ridley and Snails, who unwittingly become instrumental in Savina’s search for the Rod. Joined by a feisty Dwarf named Elwood, and helped by the Empress’s expert tracker, the Elf Norda, the young heroes go in search of the Rod of Savrille. From the deadly maze of the Thieves Guild…” director=”Courtney Solomon” actor_1=”Jeremy Irons” ]
Totally over-the-top satire, subtle as shovel to face. But it’s funny. Would have enjoyed more if I saw it 14years ago when it came out…
What’s more:
Another day, another over-obvious satire. Oh well. At least this one is pretty good, even if it suffers from John Waters envy.
For her feature film debut, director Jamie Babbitt came up with the story based partly on articles she read and partly on observing her mother’s work at a drug treatment program for teens. Changing the focus of these treatment camps to homosexuality is an inspired idea for a film, and would be much funnier if these places didn’t actually exist. The story was turned over to Brian Wayne Peterson, a writer/producer on the tv series Smallville, for his only film screenwriting credit to date.
The movie delights in being loud and blatant, freely acknowledging its inspirations from John Waters & Edward Scissorhands. It’s been done before, but that doesn’t mean the garish colors and sterile superficiality of the camp work any less well.
The only thing this really suffers from is time, since I’m seeing it for a first viewing nearly 15 years after release. I’ve seen better since, but it isn’t fair to knock a movie for that. It was a game changer for gay films at the time and deserves recognition.
A must watch if you are a music dork. John Cusack is the most personable actor ever born, so that helps. Funny as hell with stacked cast…
What’s more:
I have to honestly say that I didn’t really enjoy this too much when it came out. The single life was still a little too fresh in my memory and some of this movie hit a little too close to home. With time, however, I recognize this as the classic it always was.
“I’d feel guilty taking their money, if I wasn’t… well… kinda one of them.”
The story, adapted from Nick Hornby’s novel, unfolds nicely over a slightly too long run-time. The premise of recapping the “top 5” relationships mirrors the music theme perfectly and leads to great flashback scenes. The relationship talk is broken up by some of the greatest music conversations committed to film.
“Now, the making of a good compilation tape is a very subtle art. Many do’s and don’ts. First of all you’re using someone else’s poetry to express how you feel. This is a delicate thing.”
The cast is really solid, anchored by Johnny C. I’d watch him in anything, and often do. Jack Black straddles the line between hysterical and irritating (as always); he mostly wins the battle. Todd Louiso fills out the record store staff. The cameos and small parts are also fantastic, topped off by the Boss.
“Give that big final good luck and goodbye to your all time top-five and just move on down the road.”
Solid start. With the opening scene, Singer lets you know this is going to be a serious film. Comic book movies would never be the same…
What’s more:
Mutants. One of the many reasons I always read DC Comics, not Marvel. Not that DC didn’t have its own goofy stuff, but I just hated the idea of mutation. In theory it makes for great story material. In practice, it’s a loophole for writers that allows them to justify anything they feel like. Once you’ve opened the door to allowing characters to change their physical being, it’s tempting to use that capability for everything.
All by way of saying that I’m not that familiar with all of the characters and storylines of X-Men. From what I have read, this seems very much in the spirit of the comics.
The biggest criticism I have of X-Men is the same problem with all superhero series starters; you spend so much time developing the setting, characters and tone, there’s no screen time left for a serious showdown. It would be so much more satisfactory to just leave the battle with the villain to a sequel; there’s never enough breathing room to create anything other than a surface-level good vs evil conflict. Interestingly, I read that the treatment that author Michael Chabon put together actually did put the villains in the sequel; wish I could see that.
The other major issue is the promotion of Wolverine to the focus of the entire film series. Considering how the character is the linchpin of this movie, it’s sort of amazing they went with an unknown actor. Yes, I love Wolverine – everyone does. But focusing on any one character necessarily leaves other characters out in the cold. How much you can about the rest of the X-Men being relegated to the bench depends on your knowledge of the series.
But in spite of the Wolverine obsession, this is a good, solid movie that made the next decade-plus of superhero movies possible. Hopefully you think that’s a good thing…
Other odds and ends written down while I watched this for first time in years:
Patrick Stewart’s voice – yes. Wish he’d do more voice-overs or audiobooks.
Opening scene so good at setting tone & theme of series.
The anti-mutant tenor provides a perfect setting for these stories.
Gorgeous framing of shots by Singer & DP Newton Thomas Sigel.
McKellen: what a massive talent. And barely on the radar for most of us at this point in his career – how much that would soon change…
The acting in this is so thick.
Hugh Jackman is such a discovery. Wonder if the Wolverine obsession of these movies is due to the character or Jackman. Probably both…
Watching this for the first time in a long time. Forgot this was made at the dawn of the age of excessive color timing.
Sabertooth is so ridiculous. One of the only missteps in the vision for this movie.
Ray Park as Toad. Don’t forget this was right after Phantom Menace. What a great talent for such a foolish character…
Famke Janssen almost makes up for her Bond villain with performance as Jean Grey. Almost…
Introduction of the school is so well done. You can’t wait to see more glimpses of the characters.
James Marsden great as Cyclops. As to Halle Berry’s Storm…ugh.
Bruce Davison is so perfect in this part.
Mystique…
Anna Paquin’s now you hear it now you don’t midwestern accent is a bit surprising from an Oscar-winner. Although Berry is also trying on an accent that doesn’t fit. These questionable Oscar selections sure do a lot of damage down the line…
Cerebro is a neat room, but if there is a dorkier helmet to be found they must have given up looking for it…
Ah, the old “I can shape-shift into anything” plot device. The first refuge of the lazy writer, just after time travel and before cloning…
Magneto – oh, they did find a dorkier helmet…
The practical effects used in the stand-off at the train station make all the difference in the world.
Uniforms are an improvement over the blue & yellow spandex, if not by a lot…
I’m not a big X-Men comic reader; couldn’t they have found anyone better than Toad?
I want one of these cool 3D map things!
Fights pretty good, but too much wire work, like everything post-Matrix.
Believe it or not, the “know what happens to a toad when it’s struck by lightning” line was written by Joss Whedon. A rare mistake by the legend.
Pretty good battle, although the whole thing feels like a paltry climax for such a good story. Little more than a warm-up for the sequel.
